Dear Battlefield 3:

I just wanted to say thanks for everything over these last two weeks. It's been a great time, dealing with the unstable, mediocre multiplayer game.

Well, I suppose that playing multiplayer wasn't as bad as waiting for the XBox Live servers to be rebooted again, for the 5th time in two days. Of course, I'm thankful that I had the XBox version, as the PC version has, how many cheats/hacks? Like, 30 of them maybe? Oh well.

Remember that time that I was driving the jeep and I wanted to jump out while it was still in motion? Yeah, and you thought it would be great if I exited it from the front, thereby running myself over? Ha, good times. Or that time me and StubbyCBass were in the same party, in the same squad, and we joined a game to have you put us on opposite teams? Yeah. Or how about that one time where I fell off of the aircraft carrier and I had to swim for four minutes to get to shore and just then your server crapped out? Awesome.

Oh, I didn't forget the buggy single player mess. I really enjoy following a squad leader along a linear path that gives me the illusion that I can find alternate routes, when each of them ends in invisible walls or a bullet sandwich. The best is when I run up to the door, but I can't open it until the moron ambles his way over there to tell me to open it. Good times!

Well, Modern Warfare 3 comes out in about 2 hours, so I won't need you installed anymore. But, don't worry. With a few dozen updates, you might be almost as good as Battlefield: Bad Company 2, which came out two years before you did.

Sincerely